Hurts so bad*

I’m gonna start by breaking my precedent of not directly addressing the song referenced in the title of my post. Namely, I just gotta say that this is a fucking awesome song and that hearing Susan Tedeschi sing it makes me feel all tingly inside.

The mention of tinglies brings me to the impetus for this evening’s post: my wrist hurts. And my hip hurts, but my wrist more so.

Moments ago, I became very angry at the Internet for failing to give me a definitive diagnosis regarding this wrist pain. It’s hurt since the spring of ’05, transiently at first, then more frequently within the past six months-or-so. The back of my hand just aches. Sometimes it spreads up to either the joint between my pinky and ring finger or the one between ring and middle. 

It’s statements like these that are making it difficult to determine the cause of this pain. I can’t explain what, exactly, hurts. It just hurts. And because whining at my computer has failed to provide me with any satisfying answers, I’ve decided to take the route that’s served me so well in the past: I’ll try to describe the pain in writing.

It’s my left wrist; it hurts to bend it back, not forward. Every symptom list I’ve read about Carpal Tunnel Syndrome doesn’t really describe the particular sensations I’m feeling. There is no numbness, no pain on the thumb-side of my hand, and absolutely nothing with the palm-side either. It’s all in the back of my hand, starting at the point even with the base of my thumb and covering the back of my hand. I imagine it like some sort of spiderweb that branches out across it. It doesn’t even spread to the sides of my wrist. It’s just like someone dropped something very heavy right smack dab on the top of my hand. There’s no stiffness, no swelling, no discoloration. It just fucking hurts.

It hadn’t hurt in quite awhile; I’d attributed this to the pilates I’d been attempting on a near-regular basis. I thought that the strain that I’d be placing on my wrist would exacerbate it, but it seemed to (ostensibly, at least) make it better. And for the past few weeks, there was absolutely NO pain at all! None whatsoever! I could flail my wrist about willy-nilly and nothing! Not even a teeny tiny little ache. 

But, beginning yesterday, I could have sworn that I’d fallen on it and smashed it to little bits. It began raining yesterday, after an abnormal hiatus. This initially lead me to believe that it was arthritis-related. 26-year-olds get arthritis, right? But like I said, no swelling. My range of motion is only limited by pain, nothing else. I could, theoretically, bend my wrist back and do a push-up.** I’d just rather not feel like my wrist was breaking.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Why the hell is she typing out this inane little tirade if her wrist (which, presumably, she is using to type at least half of this pointless rant) hurts her so damn badly? The answer is this (smart-ass): it doesn’t hurt to type! Read what i just wrote, jackass: it’s not actually my wrist. It’s the back of my fucking hand. Oy. 

The fact that my hip began to ache as well fueled my suspicions of arthritis, but I more clearly defined my symptoms and am now convinced, for the time being at least, that simple bursitis plagues me and that rest and NSAIDs will eventually set me free. 

Well, dear reader, even though I’ve called you nasty names, I thank you for bearing with me in my whiny hypochondria. I promise to provide more entertaining material whence next I post. Until now, I’m gonna slather myself in Icy Hot and begin applying for AARP benefits.



**Hahahaha, right. As if this pain is the singular thing preventing me from doing push-ups. Oh, Julie, you are quite the witty one!

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