While searching postings for jobs that will utilize my only (semi)marketable skills,* I’ve found innumerable ads that are so poorly written I cannot help but think these thoughts:
Is proper use of the apostrophe really that difficult to master?
Why must Everything be gratuitously Capitalized? (Recognizing, of course, that I use capitalization in an incredibly Stylistic Way – but that I’m not getting paid to write anything).
What the fuck are they even asking from a potential applicant? Like – what is this company?
A (hypothetical) example:
We Providing affective customer satisfaction management toolsand solutions for various Business’ in Your Area!
Really? Really?
Part of me wants to promptly respond, pointing out (in microscopic detail) the dozens-and-dozens of errors in spelling, usage, punctuation and – ya know – content. Maybe my anal-retentive nature (read: basic grasp of English) would impress them and I’d be hired immediately!
But then I would begin work as a $8-an-assignment drone, editing copy until my eyes bled and I begged for mercy.
Think I’ll stick with what I’ve got for now.
*Skills =
Stringing together coherent sentences
Editing others’ not-coherent sentences
the sloppy copy 