I’D rather be spelunking, but only because I like how it sounds.

Hey, people who have those “I’d Rather Be…” bumper stickers: I don’t care. Actually, no one cares. No one gives an insert-weird-idiom-here that you like to fish for bass or run marathons or exploit indigenous peoples or take landscape photography. If you’d truly rather be doing it, you’d fucking be doing it, yes?

No? Well, whatever. I still don’t care.

I mean, HELLO. AN-Y-ONE would rather be doing something else instead of whatever it is they’re currently doing as you read the ass of their Honda, right?

I’m right. Don’t argue.

What needs to happen is someone should start printing bumper stickers that go on the front of your car. They’d look something like this:

Someone get on that. Please.

 

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