First, someone made popcorn at work. And it wasn’t burnt!
It smelled so good. And I wanted some. Very badly.
Either that, or I was having mini-stroke. Whatever. Moving on.
Second, I set my heart on making some popcorn when I got home. Truly, it got me through the remaining two hours of work.
Third, I got home and went to my cupboard.
No fucking popcorn.
This is where my brain sort of temporarily stopped working and I did that irrational-desperate thing where – even though I knew I had no popcorn because I just-then remembered making the last bag a few days ago and thinking to myself “Oh, pick up some more popcorn next time you’re at the store” – I started to tear apart my kitchen.
I removed damn-near-everything in the cabinet where the popcorn is generally kept. Oh, maybe there’s a stray bag hiding behind these boxes of tea! Oh, I KNOW there is. THERE HAS TO BE ONE MORE BAG BACK HERE.
Then I remembered that I used to keep my popcorn in a basket on top of the refrigerator. This was, of course, over a year ago. BUT MAYBE I MISSED A BAG WHEN I MOVED IT.
That’s when I realized I was a crazy person. A crazy, popcorn-obsessed person.
And I got surly.
Because I didn’t have anything that remotely resembled popcorn. No nuts. No crackers. Nothing snack-y nor crunch-y.
So I ended up eating a caramel instead, which is essentially the least popcorn-like food item ever.
Woe is me. My life is HARD, y’all.
Girl. When you hungry and angry, you hangry. You need to hide yo blade when you are hangry because you KNOW you can cut someone a lot faster in that condition.