A store called Nordstrom Rack opened in town a few months ago.
Now, Juanita and I had never been to a Nordstrom, but we’d heard they were ex-fucking-spensive. So, we reasoned, a Nordstrom Rack would be a bunch of discounted Nordstrom merchandise, priced to Normal People Levels (also, probably full of holes but meh. Details). So this morning we went over there to check it out.
The Nordstrom People had kindly placed a display of decorative throw pillows in the window under a sign that said SALE $17.95.
And this is when we knew we should have just turned around and went home.
Some highlights from the trip:
Juanita, on seeing a $200 handbag: “We should go back to KMart where we belong.”
Juanita, picking up a pair of stilettos: “You could kill a mouse with these things!”
Juanita: “Are those bedroom slippers?”
Me: “No…they’re called Toms.”
<pause>
Juanita: “You’re sure they’re not bedroom slippers?”
And, the best of all:
Me: “I don’t know if I should get these boots. I don’t know how often I’d wear them.”
Juanita: “Well, you can’t wear them at all if you don’t buy them.”
the sloppy copy 