When I was a kid it bugged me when Mom or Dad or Other Responsible Adult would drive the same route over and over and over again. I became downright giddy when we took the highway instead of back roads, or back roads instead of the highway, or a completely new way I’d never seen before. To my mind, there were no fewer than 25 ways to get to the grocery store and I wanted to see them all.*
So imagine my surprise when I realized this morning – literally, 3 minutes ago – that I’d been approaching a particular long-standing goal of mine in a very linear, uncompromising, it can only be done this one way, damnit! fashion. Without being too specific, I’ve just been assuming that I’d have to go back to school in order to get any kind of measurable shit done with my life.
This has been my attack plan for years. YEARS! And instead of taking the literally 10 seconds to consider the alternatives, I wasted my energy on figuring out how the hell I was going to basically rearrange my life around more fucking education, dreading the entire thing, and resigning myself to selling a kidney on Craigslist to finance it all. Ugh. Talk about a downer, bro. No wonder I’d made zero progress.
I very briefly considered if there was a mental roadblock at play here: Oooh! For complicated Reasons, you’ve subconsciously set yourself up to fail! Oooh! The plot thickens, and — nope. Fuck that. I just let my brain become – what’s the opposite of distracted?
Hey! There’s a first time for everything.
*This is not an exaggeration. This girl used to take the Wunnenberg Street Guide to Saint Louis County into her room and lay on her bed studying it for hours. I wish I could say I was kidding.