the sloppy copy

Damn you, Half.com! Damn you and your unbelievably cheap prices!
I just purchased a Christmas gift for my brother from this, my favoritest of Web sites. All was well and good until I was waylaid on my way to check out by a “Other Shit You Might Enjoy Spending Money On” page. Unfortunately, I’m the schmuck who goes to this site regularly and Wish Lists everything, so OF COURSE Half.com knows EXACTLY what to tempt me with.
So yeah. Long story short, I ended up purchasing a Christmas gift for Julie, too.
In honor of the newest addition to my CD collection (“Singles” from The Smiths!), we’ve got one of my favorites:
“This Charming Man” / The Smiths (1983)

Rihanna-beating aside, this song got stuck in my head when I began to ponder what I’d be doing at work tonight. Two options exist: I can either run back and forth seating guests, or I can “run the books,” meaning that I assign guests to tables and assign servers to those tables. It’s trickier than it sounds, and I’m not great at it, and sometimes I catch myself worrying about it during off-hours, which I realize is a waste of mental energy, but I don’t have much else to put my mental energy into nowadays, so…
Okay, enough rambling:
“Run It” / Chris Brown ft. Juelz Santana (2005)

I was going to write about the pros and cons of Friend Mixing, but I ate a clementine less than an hour ago and my fingertips still reek of citrus and frankly, it’s distracting. I also fear that the smell will somehow become imbedded in my keyboard. I also think that maybe the coat I put in the dryer is finished now. And it might have shrunk.

This song, like most (but not all) Black Eyed Peas numbers, makes me smile:
“I Gotta Feeling” / Black Eyed Peas (2009)

Enjoy!

As I typed this, I realize that I dated everything I did at work today 10/19. Eh. Oops.

Aaaanyway: Today’s sotd is a dreamy and hopeful little tune that’s fun to sing, so I’ve included the lyrics below:

“Our Day Will Come” / Ruby and the Romantics (1963)
Our day will come
And we’ll have everything.
We’ll share the joy
Falling in love can bring.

No one can tell me
That I’m too young to know (young to know)
I love you so (love you so)
And you love me.

Our day will come
If we just wait a while.
No tears for us –
Think love and wear a smile.

Our dreams have magic
Because we’ll always stay
In love this way
Our day will come.
(Our day will come; our day will come.)

Our dreams have magic
Because we’ll always stay
In love this way.
Our day will come.
Our day will come….

Dear Brother,
I just wanted to finally forgive you for, well, being born.
Wait! Come back! Let me explain!
See, I had it pretty good when I was a kid. I was the very proud owner of a red plastic suitcase filled with Legos. In fact, my suitcase o’ Legos was THE go-to toy when people (not just children!) came over to the house. Aunts, uncles, family friends, cousins… I built (built! get it? haha! I am clever!) many fond memories around those Legos. Primo bonding time occurred when I would innocently bring a hunk of Legos to an adult and sweetly ask him to take it apart for me (why did everything always get stuck on that damn flat green piece?). And don’t get me started on the Lego people. Oh, how I loved playing with the Lego people.
And then came you. Somewhere between your birth and your second birthday, the suitcase disappeared. By that point, I was distracted from my Lego phase (you yourself were a pretty fascinating, albeit loud, addition to the household), but I clearly remember the day when I went to the cabinet in the laundry room looking for that damn suitcase only to be told by Mom that she “got rid of them” because “your brother might choke on them.”
You might choke? Like hell I’d let you get THAT close to them!
Oh, it was on.
While my resentment did not, actually, last for long (though I admit it has since been unearthed numerous times for dramatic effect) I thought that it might be nice to formally forgive you. You probably never even saw the Legos, had no idea they existed…
…or did you, you little fucker? Did you try to play with them behind my back and almost choke? Is THAT what the old woman was talking about? Huh?
…making my ill will ill-placed.
So for that: I’m sorry, baby brother.



But for the record, the Cabbage Patch Doll incident is still fresh in my mind.



Yours truly,
Julie

When I checked my phone this morning, I had a missed call from a phone number that was exactly my number, but with the area code of a neighboring state. I can only imagine what lead up to this:

Drunk guy* in a bar #1 (Let’s call him Kevin): Dude, are you drunk texting Krista? That’s hiiiiiiilarious!
Drunk guy in a bar #2 (Let’s call him Scott): No! This is hilarious! I just sent her a sentence, one word at a time! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oooh! Jager bombs!
Kevin: Fuck yes, bra! Oh, you know what would be even funnier than drunk texting?
Scott: What? There’s something more fun than drunk texting? [slams back a Jager bomb] Wooooo!
Kevin: [slams his Jager bomb] Aaaaahhhh! No, seriously, you should call YOUR cell phone number, but use another area code and see who picks up!
Scott: Fucking christ that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard in my fucking life! You are THE MAN, bro! [dials number]
Kevin: Is it ringing? Is it ringing?
Scott: Ssssshhhhhh, fuckwad!
[Julie’s voicemail picks up, because Julie turns her ringer off at night so Julie is not disturbed by fuckwads like Kevin or Scott]
Scott: Shit! It’s voicemail! Do I leave a message? Do I? Do I?
Kevin: Ahhhhhh! No! Hang up! Hang up!
Scott: Okay! [snaps phone closed] Fuck yeah! That was awesome! Your turn!
Kevin: Okay! Ooooh, look, more Jager bombs!

Fin

*It’s a guy. It’s always a guy.

This e-mail from my brother was waiting for me when I checked my inbox just now:
Also, I think I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) is that happiest song I can think of at 4:05 in the morning.

Yup, that was the entire e-mail.

Today’s sotd is dedicated to insomniacs (or just college kids) everwhere:
“I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” / The Proclaimers (1988)
Tangent: I am a sucker for Scottish and Irish accents. Mmmmmm.

Not sure where this one came from, but heeeeereyago:
“Poison” / Bell Biv Devoe (1990)

Love, love, love it on it’s own… This, however, takes the cake.

Today’s SOTD surfaced from a deep fold in my brain today (or maybe yesterday?), and I haven’t been able to get the first few lines out of my head since.

“All For You” / Janet Jackson (2001)

Enjoy!