I scream, you scream…

Update: No more text messages from Dustin, though I did get a “Merry Christmas” from someone in Maryland Heights (Mo). Not quite as interesting.

I could really go for some ice cream. I could actually really go for anything that is not currently in the kitchen at my parents’ house (where I’m currently staying). This is not a diss to their grocery choices. There are many delicious things therein, but, as is always my case–nothing that I want. And really, all I want is some ice cream. 

I am a horrible grocery shopper. I always carefully plan out my shopping list, and I always leave it at home. I always keep a mental note of the things I need to pick up when I’m out, and I always forget every single item when I’m actually at the store. 

This condition extends beyond supermarket shopping. I found a Target gift card that I got as a gift last year from my supervisor and decided to spend it a few days ago. I knew there were things that I had been eyeing at this consumer oasis, but couldn’t remember what these things were as I left the house. “I’ll just look around until I remember,” I thought to myself. 


When I have no money to spend, I can take hours in Target compiling mental lists of all the lovely things that I will purchase when next I will allow myself to do so. Mostly extraneous junk, yes. But some of it is (at least kind of) necessary. But when I have $50 burning a hole in my pocket, I wander aimlessly, amazed at how supercilious all of these items are and wondering who would pay for any of this junk? 

So I shouldn’t bemoan the lack of ice cream. “Is there anything special you want from the store?” asked my mom earlier this week. “No, I can’t think of anything,” I said.*  Oh well. 


*I know what you’re thinking. “You probably didn’t want ice cream when she asked you, don’t beat yourself up.” But this is fundamentally wrong. ANY TIME is a good time for ice cream. You must understand this. I can think of very few instances when this statement is false (“immediately before undergoing major surgery” or “after already eating three gallons of Rocky Road” are two that come to mind, though the latter is a stretch).

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