On groceries

If you’ve not already, you should check out Crap at my Parents’ House. It’s wonderful.

It’s also inspiring to the legions of us who look around their parents’ homes with that unique combination of awe, delight and disgust: where the hell did all this crap come from? we collectively wonder. Was it always like this?

This site, and my desire for some crackers this afternoon, are the push behind today’s Photo Essay. Behold what is only a mere microcosm of the contents of the pantry (and refrigerator) at my parents’ home:

First, I present to you the Crackercopia:

A diverse offering of wheat, wheat, wheat, saltine and wheat selections.

As I staged the photo above, I came across several more boxes that, when removed from the pantry, proved to be the basis for Croutonapalooza ’10:

Okay, I like to eat croutons straight from the box, so this find was a bit more exciting to me. Until I took a closer look:

Two years expired? Not so bad, I guess.

Five years? Uh, not as acceptable.* Let’s just say that the birds in the backyard are eating well this afternoon.

Lastly: whatever shall we serve on the crackers and croutons? I present to you Mustard Mania:

Sorry for the shaky picture quality. I was trying hard not to laugh.

*But seriously: how does a box of stale bread expire? Does it revert back into a soft-bread form? (Answer: yes, yes it does. Pliable croutons are disgusting croutons. Sorry, birdies.

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