the sloppy copy

I’ve been working a lot of nights lately, which means I’ve been watching a lot of late-night television. Seems that Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman have been making the talk-show circuit to promote their new film The Switch.

I don’t feel like summarizing the plot right now, so if you’re not in the loop go catch up here real quick. I can wait.

Back already? Okay.

So here’re my questions:
1. Who plans a party to celebrate their artificial insemination?
Wouldn’t the party come after a successful insemination, a la “Yay, I’m having a baby!” or – I don’t know – why don’t you wait until the baby shower? Otherwise, it’s just a “Imma ’bout to get knocked up!” party (which, really, could be any party where lots of alcohol is served, right?)

2. WHY IS THE SAMPLE IN HER BATHROOM?
Or is this gonna be a DIY job? (in which case, ew).

2(a). NO SERIOUSLY: WHY IS THE SAMPLE IN HER BATHROOM?
For chrissakes! You’re hosting a PARTY, lady! You probably took care to put away the tampons and the Summer’s Eve, and yet – and yet – you leave a plastic cup full of someone else’s man juice just sitting out on the back of the commode?

2(b). I’M NOT KIDDING: WHY THE FUCK IS THE SAMPLE IN HER BATHROOM?!
You’re obviously serving cocktails, did you not think to drunk-proof your place? Did it not cross your mind that possibly some drunken idiot might wander in and upset the fruit basket, so to speak? Really? Like really?

Actually, those are really my only two questions.