Okay, I’m not the only one who has movie-dreams, right? I would explain, but I think you either understand what I’m talking about or you don’t (if you just said “Aren’t all dreams like movies?” then you don’t get what I’m saying).
Last night… oh, man! Best movie-dream I’ve had in awhile! What was it about, you ask? Well, let me tell ya: I have no fucking clue.
How do I know the dream was good if I can’t remember the plot? Again, if I have to explain, you are unfortunate enough to have not experienced this awesomeness. But for those of you who absolutely must have details, I’ll try my best:
* First, I was actually in the dream. This is not always the case.
* I was in some kind of group of misfits. I think we were some sort of criminal element.
* We had a hideout, and it was in the basement of my (real life) elementary school, in some rooms that do not exist in real life.
* I was fed up with the gang, and decided that I was going to quit and go hang out with some other gang (more criminals? I don’t know). So me and Aldis Hodge decide we’re going to go upstairs and check out some other rival gang who’s apparently having Recruitment in the gymnasium.
* Side note: Now that I think about it, I guess I just inserted myself into the cast of Leverage.
* We go upstairs (the school looking again like in real life) and there are really friendly, nice folks passing out fliers as we re-entered the building and walked the halls. Hey this is nice, I’m thinking. Maybe I will join these guys!
* But then we pass some weird, lurking fellow (very Lurch-like) in the hallway and we both instinctively know that this dude – and the whole recruitment thing – is Major Trouble. We try to ignore him and walk past, but for some reason he senses that we’re about to bail on this new gang and I guess it’s a “No one quits our gang!” kind of deal because he starts to chase us.
* So we run back to our hideout, only our friends are no longer there. We run for a back room to hide in, and we find it is crammed full of junk, mostly long metal pipes piled against the walls and all over the floor. In our haste to hide in this room, some of the pipes get knocked over, and block the door from closing all the way. I hunker down in a corner, behind some shelves. Aldis is determined to get the door shut behind us, and keeps kicking at it, causing a tremendous din which has certainly alerted Lurch to our location.
* “Just leave it!” I’m saying. “He won’t even look in here! We don’t need to close the door all the way!” But he keeps kicking, and finally the door closes.
* Just in time for Bad Dude to start pounding on the door. Fortunately there’s enough crap piled up against it (and Aldis is holding it closed with his feet…which is fine, except he was hiding next to me, behind those shelves, and the shelves were across the room. Go Go Gadget Legs!)
* There’s a glass transom above the door, and of course, Big Scary Lurch Dude finds a tire iron and starts smashing it. I can’t remember if he crawled through there or what, but he manages to get inside the room, and immediately starts whaling (wailing? waling? How about “beating the crap out of”?) Aldis. I don’t know what to do, so I decide to play dead. Because that always works, right?
* So I’m sitting there, starting straight ahead, not moving. Big Scary Angry Lurch Dude stops beating up my friend, turns to me, and…
I woke up.
In the retelling, all of this sounds incredibly stupid. How could this possibly have been the adrenaline-packed thrill ride I made it out to be whilst sleeping? More importantly, how did I wake up thinking this would be the plot of The Best Film Ever Made?
Maybe I’ll just go back to bed and try to figure it out.