the sloppy copy

Hey, how’s it goin’?

True story: I was once turned down for a job at Taco Bell. Well, maybe “turned down” isn’t the right phrase, but I filled out an application along with two of my friends and a) both of them went on to lead highly fruitful (hahahahahahaha) TB careers there and I never got a call back. Secretly, I fear that I failed the “test” that was administered. I think it involved math. I am terrible at math.

Oh, I’m digressing aren’t I?

The point I’m trying to get to – and I really oughta just make it now before it gets lost – is this: Hang in there. There’s going to be times when you feel like leaving your last job was the stupidest thing that you’ve ever done, that you had it incredibly good and any problems you had were minor, overcome-able. You’ll think that you are basically the Biggest Living Idiot in this country, and you will hate yourself for it. You’ll fill out application after application and, worse than hearing “I’m sorry, we’ve found someone else,” you’ll hear nothing back. And in that nothing echoes a sort of loneliness. A desperation, really. You might even cry, or worse.

And it’s okay to feel that way, for a little while. I mean, ignoring that feeling of inadequacy gives it more power – it festers inside of you and poisons everything you think and say and do. But to acknowledge that feeling exists, to name it, to say “Yeah, I’m feeling pretty fucking shitty about this whole un (or under) employed deal” is to exert power over it. It puts you back in the driver’s seat.

And that’s where you want to be, because you can’t move forward if you’re just along for the ride. Is the road gonna be a bumpy one? Oh hell yes. Will it lead Directly To Where You Want To Go. Fuck no. But you’ll get there, eventually. Trust me.

“Oh, why should I trust you? You have a Master’s degree and you work in a fucking restaurant!” Well, fuck you, you should listen to me. Here’s why: I’ve been down this road before, kemo sabe, and while it might loop around for awhile, you’ll eventually find your way out of the cul-de-sac and back on the freeway. I did.

Whew. These driving metaphors are making my fingers hurt. But do you get what I’m saying? Because you need to. Let me make this absolutely clear: hang in there. Keep on keeping on. Take breaks in the job search if you have to. For every Bad Thought you think, think two more Good Thoughts (even if this has to come a few hours or days later – it’s a roller coaster, I know). Take time to name what you are feeling; take as much time as you need. But most important? The biggest take-away point I got here? It’s this:

Don’t give up.

Yours truly,
Julie