Captain fucking Magic!*

You know what would be a fun job? Trying to find patterns in Netflix users’ rentals.

See, I find it hard to believe that there wouldn’t be any. I mean, even if one adds items to their Queue while intoxicated,** there’s always some sort of method to one’s madness. Right?

Take me, for example, because I leave you no other choice and if you have a problem with that, well, no one’s holding a gun to your head while you read this, eh? Eh?! Um, excuse me. Where was I? Oh yes. I’ll offer up my own patterns as an example:

While others might favor a particular genre or long-running television series and stack their choices accordingly, I seem to – lately, at least – go in cycles of my current favoured actor or actress. This isn’t to say I’m the only one who does this, of course. Actually, I’m sort of surprised that Netflix doesn’t offer Suggestions based on the stars of a user’s previous viewing choices.

But then again, when I consider the types of “stars” with whom I so easily become enamored, this would be a difficult process. As I believe I’ve written previously, I have a knack for latching on to obscure, not quite mainstream actors and have suffered through some pretty awful movies in an attempt to see them at work. Were the casual observer tasked with finding a pattern in my film selections, she might come up empty, claiming that the only connection is that I have some pretty awful taste in movies.

And, actually, I probably do.

But, er, that’s not the point. At least, I don’t think it is.

What I’m saying is… wait. What am I saying? Oh yeah, liking actors. Actors… actors… No, I know I was going somewhere with this… Obscure actors… bad actors… good actors… Right! Yes! I got it!

What I was trying to get at here is that I usually find some dude in the background of three insignificant scenes and have to spend an hour on the internet finding out who played “Inmate #2” or “Flamboyant Gay Guy At Club” or “Orderly with Beard,” only to find out he’s only done two other movies, both direct-to-video, both incredibly awful. But watch them I will, only to be only moderately satisfied (or sometimes pleasantly surprised) with his performance(s).

Now, however, the tables have turned. I re-watched one of my all-time favorite movies a few nights ago (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and yes, you should see it because it’s hilarious and wonderful and asinine and…) only to realize that you know what? This Robert Downey, Jr cat is an alright fellow. Yes, sir, I think I’d like to watch a few more films in which he… uh, is. He’s been acting since the 80s, you say? Well, slap my ass and call me Julie, I’ve got some catching up to do!***



*Line from the movie. One of many delightful exchanges, 97% of which can’t be quoted in polite company.

**Now who would do something like that?

***It’s not that I’ve, like, never seen him in anything. It’s more like I’ve never paid very close attention. Or something like that.

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