Activities that we have witnessed our neighbor doing with a beer in one hand:
- Sitting on his patio on a sunny afternoon
- Working on a dilapidated Isuzu that is usually parked in his carport
- Taking in our town’s Homecoming parade
- Tending his garden
- Mowing his yard
- Pulling his granddaughter around the yard in a little red wagon
- Stacking firewood in progressively-messier piles along the fence
- Sitting on his patio at 3:00 am
- Mowing his yard, in the rain
- Hiding additional beer behind his air conditioning unit
- Hiding additional beer in his garden shed
- Driving the aforementioned Isuzu through his small, fenced-in back yard
- Standing on a stepladder, trimming branches from a small tree using a FUCKING CHAINSAW.
the sloppy copy 