the sloppy copy

Things I’ve Said While Drunk:
(in order of level of intoxication)

1. “But the larger ice surface in European-style ice hockey really lets you see the plays unfold!”
2. “Oh my God, let’s go for a run at 5:30 tomorrow morning!”
3. “Yes! Let’s move to Mankato!”
4. “You are the best dude in the band, hands down. You fucking ROCKED tonight!”
5. “Doesn’t this jukebox have any more Joy Divison?!”
6. “Give me that karaoke book.”
7. “Who wants an Irish car bomb?”
8. “Pujols’ fielding is underrated; they say anyone can be a first baseman and I disagree. Here’s why…”
9. “Remind me how to send a text message. I think I forgot.”
10. “Excuse me, I’m going to vomit in the bushes.”