the sloppy copy

Activities that we have witnessed our neighbor doing with a beer in one hand:

1. Sitting on his patio on a sunny afternoon
2. Working on a dilapidated Isuzu that is usually parked in his carport
3. Taking in our town’s Homecoming parade
4. Tending his garden
5. Mowing his yard
6. Pulling his granddaughter around the yard in a little red wagon
7. Stacking firewood in progressively-messier piles along the fence
8. Sitting on his patio at 3:00 am
9. Mowing his yard, in the rain
10. Hiding additional beer behind his air conditioning unit
11. Hiding additional beer in his garden shed
12. Driving the aforementioned Isuzu through his small, fenced-in back yard
13. Standing on a stepladder, trimming branches from a small tree using a FUCKING CHAINSAW.