the sloppy copy

So Oprah Freaking Winfrey (that’s her full name, if you were not already aware) does her “my favorite things” episode once a season-or-so. She assembles a bag for each member of her studio audience that includes her Favorite Things and people go positively ape-shit crazy when they realize what’s going on.

And when I say “assembles a bag” I mean she, like, gives every person in the audience a house or something. I don’t know. It’s pretty ridiculous, because Oprah Freaking Winfrey’s Favorite Things are not the kind of things that can be carried in a sack.

This morning, as I dressed myself for my busy day of going to the bank and playing Scrabble Slam with my mom, I came across a couple of my Favorite Things (all manageable in your standard satchel), and this is the subject of today’s post:

Julie’s Favorite Things.

Band-Aid Blister Block
I was never a collector of shoes until I became aware of the existence of flats. Like, seriously? They make cute shoes for gals like me with giant-ass feet who just can’t handle the high heels? I am smitten, and I have a growing collection to prove it (no shame in my game). But oh, the rubbing on my tender Achilles tendon! What a tragedy, until someone (my Mom, I think? Good ole Mom!) introduced me to this product. It’s essentially lubricant for wherever you need it, so that the shoe (or what-have-you) doesn’t rub. I use it on my aforementioned tendon area and BOOYAH! No rubby, bloody mess! Freakin’ A: BUY SOME. It comes in a stick, not unlike glue (but the opposite, really), and one stick lasts for-freaking-ever. (Note: as I’ve said before, I don’t wear heels much, but I assume this product would be just perfect for those, too).

Downy Wrinkle Releaser
When I first began my current job, I dutifully unfurled mine ironing board each morning before my shift and I methodically removed all traces of wrinkles from mine pants. *annoying buzzer noise* WRONG! Talk about a waste of time! After about six months (oy vey!), I realized that I was already a slave to the Wrinkle Releaser for my everyday clothing; why the hell wouldn’t I use it on my “good” clothes? Answer: ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD REASON AT ALL. Just take what you need “ironed” and spray liberally. Smooth it out with your hands, possibly hang it on a hanger to dry if you have time, and voila! Good-as-freaking-new.

Febreze
This is also a treasure that I truly discovered with my current job. I’d used it before, mostly on bed linens that I didn’t feel like laundering or couches that wouldn’t fit in my washing machine. But when I’d come home from a short-ish shift smelling of my place of work, but knowing that my pants weren’t actually dirty, I knew that my solution was in this beautiful blue bottle. A few once-overs with the spray and good as new! A note of precaution, however: if you’re kind of mental about odors like myself, you will find yourself using it on everything. Like… everything. Just sayin’.

Netflix
Without Netflix, I would have never had the opportunity to view the first few episodes of the Australian programme The Strip (Did I watch the rest? Well… no. But I started it). Ahem. Anyway – it’s a beautiful -and did I mention cheap?– way to view movies and television shows at home: via DVD or on your computer or through some magical connection on your Box-Xes or Wees – of which I’ve not the capability.  If you don’t have the cash monies to shell out for cable television, and you’re exceptionally patient, it’s a good way to see all those freakin’ good shows on HBO and Showtime (granted, you’ll have to wait until the season is finished while avoiding any and all spoilers). Also, in case you haven’t noticed, I prefer to use it for TV viewing but I hear they have movies, too.

I’ll leave it at this for now, and continue later. Enjoy.