After watching a contestant win a Lexus on Wheel of Fortune:
Ma: I hope he lives in a nice neighborhood, otherwise that car is gonna get stolen.
Ma: And the taxes are going to be ridiculous.
While browsing televisions.
Ma: What size do you want?
J: I dunno. 63 inches.
Ma: Let’s try this again: what size are you going to buy?
J: Something not too big, but not too small.
Ma: Okaaaaaay. How about 26 inches? Is that a good size?
J: I think I want a rear-projection system, actually.
J: Or, oooooooh! A Parlor Wall! Like the thing Ray Bradbury wrote about in Fahrenheit 451. Where do I get one of those?
J: Where does Wehrenberg get their screens?
Ma: *sputtering in frustration* Why don’t you just get your own little…. TV man!
J: … what?
Ma: *in one breath* I- don’t-know-since-when-do-you-listen-to-what-I-say?!
J: Oh! Oh! Can he reenact my favorite programs in my living room?! “Hey, do some more of ‘The Office,’ but play Stanley more like a gay thug this time!”