Can’t decide if this one makes my Worst Karaoke Songs list or my Best Karaoke Songs list.
But this song is weird. Like in the last verse, when her guy Dooley is <<<SPOILER ALERT>>> on his deathbed, making out his Last Will & Testament? She sure is still pretty damn upbeat about the whole thing, ya know?
“Pink Shoe Laces” / Dodie Stevens (1959)
After watching a contestant win a Lexus on Wheel of Fortune:
Ma: I hope he lives in a nice neighborhood, otherwise that car is gonna get stolen.
*pause*
Ma: And the taxes are going to be ridiculous.
While browsing televisions.
Ma: What size do you want?
J: I dunno. 63 inches.
Ma: Let’s try this again: what size are you going to buy?
J: Something not too big, but not too small.
Ma: Okaaaaaay. How about 26 inches? Is that a good size?
J: I think I want a rear-projection system, actually.
Ma: Arrgh.
J: Or, oooooooh! A Parlor Wall! Like the thing Ray Bradbury wrote about in Fahrenheit 451. Where do I get one of those?
Ma: Juliiiie…..
J: Where does Wehrenberg get their screens?
Ma: *sputtering in frustration* Why don’t you just get your own little…. TV man!
*long silence*
J: … what?
Ma: *in one breath* I- don’t-know-since-when-do-you-listen-to-what-I-say?!
J: Oh! Oh! Can he reenact my favorite programs in my living room?! “Hey, do some more of ‘The Office,’ but play Stanley more like a gay thug this time!”
the sloppy copy 