Conversations with Juanita.

After watching a contestant win a Lexus on Wheel of Fortune:
Ma: I hope he lives in a nice neighborhood, otherwise that car is gonna get stolen.

*pause*

Ma: And the taxes are going to be ridiculous.


While browsing televisions.
Ma: What size do you want?

J: I dunno. 63 inches.

Ma: Let’s try this again: what size are you going to buy?

J: Something not too big, but not too small.

Ma: Okaaaaaay. How about 26 inches? Is that a good size?

J: I think I want a rear-projection system, actually.

Ma: Arrgh.

J: Or, oooooooh! A Parlor Wall! Like the thing Ray Bradbury wrote about in Fahrenheit 451. Where do I get one of those?

Ma: Juliiiie…..

J: Where does Wehrenberg get their screens?

Ma: *sputtering in frustration* Why don’t you just get your own little…. TV man!

*long silence*

J: … what?

Ma: *in one breath* I- don’t-know-since-when-do-you-listen-to-what-I-say?!

J: Oh! Oh! Can he reenact my favorite programs in my living room?! “Hey, do some more of ‘The Office,’ but play Stanley more like a gay thug this time!”

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