the sloppy copy

Hey, you guys?

You guys?

YOU GUYS.

HEY.

Remind me next time I see something and say “Wow, that would make a nice gift for so-and-so” to WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN. Or, hell, just buy it / make it / steal it right then and there. Because do you know what will happen otherwise?

It’ll be the day before my boyfriend’s birthday and I won’t have anything for him.

Heh, heh. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

OR (also hypothetically speaking) – in the case of “hey I could totally make that for so-and-so” you guys NEED to be like “Okay, Julie. START MAKING IT RIGHT THIS SECOND.” Because otherwise I’ll get to two days out and my brain goes into Magical Thinking mode and I’m all like “no sweat, I can crochet a bedspread in a few hours” or “Those 4 dozen intricately-decorate cupcakes? That’s a one-hour project, tops.”

And then I will get to work on the blanket or the baked goods and I will realize the shit creek I’m up and I will weep.

Oh, the weeping.

In the grand scheme of things does it really matter that the gift comes a day…or two…or three…late? I guess not. But what if the recipient is hit by a bus or mauled to death by armadillos while he’s waiting for his birthday gift? What a way to go – terrified and in pain and without knowing what the hell present was so good I made him wait so fucking long for it.

Sigh.

EDIT: I am now realizing the irony of wasting time typing up a blog post in which I complain that I have no time to finish up a present by tomorrow. I truly did not put that together until just now, I swear.