Awhile back my friends were talking about a contest held by the Rams – if you can guess their entire 2014 schedule exactly right you win $100,000. Of course the odds of winning this are unfathomable. But the question was posed: what would you do with 100K?

My first answer is “I have no fucking idea.” My debts are manageable. I work to provide for no one but myself. I live a small, selfish life.

But that said, if someone handed me that kind of money, I wouldn’t let it sit and collect dust.

Boringly, I’d stash a pretty good chunk of it in savings. Or something smarter than that, I guess. An investment something-or-another. Even if it’s just me for the rest of my life, I’ll need want to quit working immediately eventually. So sure: I’d put some away for retirement, or what-have-you.

Slightly less boringly (though not quite venturing into the “fun” category), I’d buy a car. Nothing fancy, and it don’t have to be pretty. Just some piece of shit that still runs reliably enough to get me to work. The ability to drive it legally is something I’d have to work on too, but that’s not really a problem solved by money.

More altruistically, I’d help out some friends and family. Just little gifts here and there. Maybe buy my brother and his girl a couple plane tickets so they can come visit. Or take care of their bills for a month.

I don’t imagine I’d have much left after all that, but if I did – if I had even “just” a few hundred to throw around for fun, I’d throw a party. An awesome party with all my friends and family. Nothing fancy; we’d just take over a park somewhere and grill and drink beer and play washers and that, really, is all I want. A car, an IRA – none of these things are important. I’ve gotten by for 32 years without either of those things, but I couldn’t have gotten by without my family and friends.



I always liked Joe Cocker’s version better, for whatever it’s worth. No hate to the Beatles, but this is the version that speaks to me.

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