When I checked my phone this morning, I had a missed call from a phone number that was exactly my number, but with the area code of a neighboring state. I can only imagine what lead up to this:
Drunk guy* in a bar #1 (Let’s call him Kevin): Dude, are you drunk texting Krista? That’s hiiiiiiilarious!
Drunk guy in a bar #2 (Let’s call him Scott): No! This is hilarious! I just sent her a sentence, one word at a time! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oooh! Jager bombs!
Kevin: Fuck yes, bra! Oh, you know what would be even funnier than drunk texting?
Scott: What? There’s something more fun than drunk texting? [slams back a Jager bomb] Wooooo!
Kevin: [slams his Jager bomb] Aaaaahhhh! No, seriously, you should call YOUR cell phone number, but use another area code and see who picks up!
Scott: Fucking christ that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard in my fucking life! You are THE MAN, bro! [dials number]
Kevin: Is it ringing? Is it ringing?
Scott: Ssssshhhhhh, fuckwad!
[Julie’s voicemail picks up, because Julie turns her ringer off at night so Julie is not disturbed by fuckwads like Kevin or Scott]
Scott: Shit! It’s voicemail! Do I leave a message? Do I? Do I?
Kevin: Ahhhhhh! No! Hang up! Hang up!
Scott: Okay! [snaps phone closed] Fuck yeah! That was awesome! Your turn!
Kevin: Okay! Ooooh, look, more Jager bombs!
Fin
*It’s a guy. It’s always a guy.
the sloppy copy 