Oh, that’s nice.

I cannot possibly be the only dirty-minded baseball fan who watched today’s Pirates vs. Cardinals game and wondered why the grounds crew at PNC Park decided it was a good idea to mow a giant vagina into center field:

This is why the world is probably a better place without me writing “about baseball.”

And yet, I can’t think of a more awesome way I could spend my time.

Baseball, that great intersection of culture and sport and history of our great nation. Baseball, about which I could read all day, every day, and THERE WOULD ALWAYS BE MORE TO READ. Yeah, yeah, I know all professional sports are like that, in the age of the espns and the foxs and the outdoor life networks. But no one says something is as American as apple pie and Ultimate Fighting.*  No, siree – it’s baseball, friends, that so perfectly epitomizes everything that’s awesome and weird and wonderful and messed up about the United States of ‘Mer’ca.

It’s a goldmine of topics about which I could write endlessly, but for now, I’m content to just permanently scar your brain with my opening image. You. Are. Welcome.


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