when BFFF and I get into the Nutella-delivery business we will be rich

An abridged text exchange with the BFFF on my birthday:

I am sorry you are having to work. Can I call in and ask for a specific operator? I totally should.

Yes, I am looking for operator 2684 bc she gets my pimp to calm down the best.

OPERATOR 527! I think the balloon of coke in my ass busted.

Yes, operator 367 bc she remembers where my crack pipe is hidden.

Operator 684? I forgot my safe word.

OPERATOR 2935 NOW!! I AM STRANDED IN SHADYVILLE AND DON’T HAVE MAH BLADE

37878, do you remember when I called in about 9 months ago? Where was I and do you remember his name?

346 please. Why? Well I am out of fuckin NUTELLA

Also if I could all in a Nutella crisis I would. I am fucking OUT.

That’s no joke. Call 911.

om nom nom nom

om nom nom nom

2 thoughts on “when BFFF and I get into the Nutella-delivery business we will be rich

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