Daily Archives: November 5, 2020

Miaou! Ouah!*

Aren’t pets the best? I can’t speak for any domesticated animal other than cats and guinea pigs, but I’m confident that those who keep dogs, birds, bearded dragons, and terra cotta Bob Ross heads slathered in chia seeds would all agree: pets are the best!

I had a guinea pig that my mom trained to stand on its hind legs for carrots and kale. Each time he heard the refrigerator door open he’d jump on top of his little guinea pig abode and make that adorable-to-some-but-terrifying-to-others guinea piggo squeal: wheet! wheet! wheet!* and beg for produce.

And our cats. Little assholes that they can be sometimes, they are both really either very snuggly and purr-y or zooming around the house acting like very entertaining fools most of the time. Each of these operating levels are cute and funny and yes, also sometimes annoying depending on the time of day, but… pets! The best!

Our current plan now is to probably have a dog eventually, too, but I’ve always believed that dogs need s p a c e and I can’t feel good about having one cooped up in our apartment (or crated) all day long. Our schedules sometimes align to where no one’s in the house for like 10 hours. That seems like a long time to hold in one’s pee. But I guess I’m not a dog? Are they different somehow?

This post has no point other than: If you’re still feeling weary and O V E R I T today, spend some QT with your pets. And if you have no pets, spend some QT on #catstagram. Do NOT view anything but adorable cats. You’ll thank me later.

*Typing out the sounds that animals make is also the best. No – what’s better is seeing what sounds animals supposedly make in other languages. I was shocked to discover that roosters do not, in fact, “cock a doodle doo” in France. Instead they gives a very regal “co-co-ri-co!” which is, honestly, much more dignified. But French-speaking pigs make a sound that’s spelled “groin” (pronunciation unknown?) so I guess that makes up for it. And the title of this post is, as I hope you guessed, “meow” and “woof” en Francais.