Qualifications, listed.

Things I Can Do Well:
* Spell
* Correctly use multisyllabic words, apostrophes and adjectives on a semi-regular basis
* Diagram sentence structure (why is this not taught in schools anymore? I spent three years of my formal education learning how to do this!)
* Omit Oxford commas in my written work
* Write (as a manual skill; my handwriting is [almost] consistently legible)
* Provide witty and/or scathing, sarcastic commentary on world events, public figures, family and friends and general goings-on around me
* Recognize Craigslist overposts and spam and flag them accordingly

Things I Can Do Passably Well:
* Crochet
* Cook (also: prepare quick and filling meals with almost no cooking at all)
* Write (as an academic skill)
* Style others’ hair (female)

Things I Have Not Yet Mastered But At Which I Am Consistently Trying:
* Baking
* Photography
* Following through on my Big Ideas
* Giving oral presentations
* Speaking loudly
* Using my cellular telephone for social calls
* My current job

Alright, who wants to offer me a job?

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