the sloppy copy

I knew this chick once – she was friendly and had nice hair. I thought she was cool, and she became about 45 times cooler when I found out she was from Manitoba (Winnipeg, maybe?). It was at a time in my life when I knew few people from outside the United States, but – unfortunately for her, I guess – her novelty wore off quickly when I overheard a snippet of conversation between her and someone else.

The Someone Else had said something – I can’t precisely remember – but it must have included what some would consider blue language because Canadian Chick responded with something like “When people use words like that, it makes them sound stupid. There are better ways to express yourself. Swearing is a sign of a weak vocabulary and a lack of education.”

Well, that smug little bitch!

When I was younger, my grasp of inappropriate language was loose, tentative. It was wild and unwieldy in my mouth. I spat these  “dirty words” sloppily and without precise aim. They would bloat my conversation, weighing down the points I thought I was so clearly and dramatically making. Instead of providing emphasis, they became the focus of my speech. I swore with the fluidity of someone trying to speak Cantonese for the very first time. 

And yet, I persevered. I knew I sounded stupid, so I listened carefully to those whom I considered artful cussers; to me, these were the folks who could bring an entire room to their knees with the delicate placement of a sole F-bomb. The tone of their voice, its forcefulness or its timbre, did not change when their tongues came upon these colorful interjections. I studied the form and put it into practice.

So to hear this chick, one whom I previously held in high esteem, speak such a blanket statement? It was fucking irritating.

Do I still garble strings of shits-and-fucks with the gracefulness of an ice dancing walrus? And is my written prose riddled with profanity? Yes, and yes. But do I make careful note of my surroundings when speaking in blue tongues – taking care to avoid certain four-letter-and-up words around particular individuals or groups? Of course. Mama didn’t raise no idiot.

But I don’t use these words for shock value. They are not the foundation upon which I’ve built the rest of my speech patterns. My vocabulary is (I believe) above average, thankyouverramuch. I don’t substitute expletives when I can’t find the word for which my brain is searching… usually. I am simply a believer in the power of certain words and the humor of their placement. It can be overdone to the point of obnoxious-ness, yes, but it can also be understated and, I believe, even kind of… elegant.

I take offense when others, listening from upon their high horses, are offended by my spoken or written language (for the record, I did hear Canadian Chick use a few “damns” and “hells” over the course of our brief acquaintanceship) but I will readily apologize when I sense I’ve crossed a line.

But I’ll also defend myself, if that wasn’t already completely fucking obvious.

For having a primetime schedule that’s an entire hour shorter than its competitor networks, I guess they haven’t done too shabbily.

Monday:
House: Oh, House. You jumped the shark so long ago that you’re halfway across the ocean by now. I only sporadically find you clever; the rest of the time you are simply irritating. And now you’re all professing your undying love for Cuddy? Oy. Do us all a favor and swallow a fistful of vikes (Vics? Vicks? Faaa! Vicodin! I’m talking about Vicodin). It might make things interesting once again.
Lone Star: FOX’s own hype-o-meter (or hypeometer, in British English – accent the second syllable, if you please) has gone Marshall Applewhite-levels of crazy over this one. I don’t even know what the premise-behind-the-premise is, just that main character dude leads some kind of double life in Texas (rich guy with trophy wife in one part of the state &  aw-shucks Texan with a wholesome gal in some other city). And I read somewhere that he looks like “a young George Clooney,” but I do not think this is true.

Tuesday:
Glee: Oh be still my Gleeky little heart, it’s back already?! I had the misfortune of working on the nights this aired last season, and as a result missed a lot of the finer points. By the time I had time to catch up, well, I just sort of skimmed through the mash ups. But this Shue vs. Sue schtick is gold, my friends. And my love for musicals and singing and dancing is unparalleled (well, except for my oft-referenced adoration of cop shows, which makes me wonder if I wouldn’t be the uber-fan of Cop Rock). Uh, anyway. Glee’s back. Yay!
Raising Hope: I’ve got hopes, but they ain’t too high. If they can steer away from the avenue of Awful Stereotypes, it could be funny and endearing. Otherwise, it’ll be garbage. I’m not confident that there’s a middle ground there.
Running Wilde:  Okay, so I’m confused. Some misguided types are gushing over this Will Arnett vehicle like it’s some sort of Arrested Development Redux.  But, based on what I’ve read and what I’m seeing in promos, I still can’t tell if this is supposed to be comedy, or drama, or both, or what. Bad sign going in.

Wednesday:
Lie to Me: I saw this show once. Some British guy was talking in his British Guy Accent and then there were some othergood people and some bad people and some people who were maybe both good and bad. And British Guy was saying interesting-sounding things, things that might be true or might just be made up for television. But then I think they broke for commercial and I changed the channel and, yeah. That’s it.
I’m not going to review Hell’s Kitchen, but you should watch it if you like watching Gordon Ramsay going abso-fucking-lutely batshit crazy. Like, holy hell, man. Calm down before your head explodes.

Thursday:
Bones: Hmmm. Apparently they want us to think that a year has passed and – ready for this? – Booth comes back from Afghanistan with a GIRLFRIEND. Actually, I don’t care, because I don’t want him and Brennan together anyway. I wonder why they did the year-break thing, though? The ending to last season was kind of sad. I wonder if they thought they weren’t getting renewed?
Fringe: I have only the vaguest, most peripheral understanding of this show but I think that only puts me slightly behind those who watch it religiously. The “What the hell is going on?” device is actually quite compelling (to me, at least) and even though I remain steadily confused from start-to-finish whenever I remember to watch, something has got me hooked. Perhaps there’s some kind of telepathic messages forcing me to not change the channel. My brain might start to liquefy if I don’t keep watching.

Friday:
Human Target: Oh, I thought this was some kind of summer filler. Guess not! As near as I can figure, some bad ass guy runs around and has people shoot at him. And there’s some hot chick of undeterminable ethnic origin. Perhaps she is from Latin America? I don’t know. I don’t watch this show.
The Good Guys: I can’t get past Colin Hanks’ freakish resemblance to his father long enough to concentrate on the plot, sorry.

Oh, so FOX also does their “animation domination” thing on Sunday nights: Unfortunately for the viewer, they spaced these four programs out in order to maximize viewership (even FOX knows that The Cleveland Show sucks so they had to sandwich it between The Simpsons and Family Guy. As for American Dad, well, if you can make it through Cleveland you’ll probably watch anything.

one more to go! I’d stop, because by this point no one really cares what I have to say, but come to think of it – no one really watches the CW so it all evens out in the end.

Apparently ABC has decided to build its entire fall lineup around Dancing with the Stars. No, seriously. It’s on eight nights a week. Ooooor just Monday and Tuesday.

Also, I sometimes (read: often) confuse ABC and FOX and the CW. It’s not entirely clear to me why, just that I lump everything on (network) TV into three categories: channel 4 (CBS, or just about everything I make it a point to watch), channel 5 (NBC, or the strongest channel on the antenna) and Everything Else. When I’m trying to find a show, I generally just flip between the other three channels until I find it. It usually takes me a half-hour, tops.

Here we go!

Monday:
Castle: Aw, that Nathan Fillion. Look at him having a show! And that chick with the eh haircut! I think her name is Kate. Yeah, that’s right. Beckett. Kate Beckett – a name torn straight from the Directory of Strong Names. No, really, I’m not being sarcastic. Oh, you’re asking about the show itself? It’s entertaining, though I didn’t “follow” it this season and have no idea “where we left off.” But ol’ Nate plays a very believable author. I don’t know.
Yup. That’s it for Monday.

Tuesday:
No Ordinary Family: Starring The Commish – I mean, Vic Mackey – I mean, The Commish and Dexter’s Annoying, But Now Dead, Wife. They gots two kids and they all accidentally eat some uranium-baked potatoes on vacation or something and BAM! Super powers for all! Nice premise for primetime network TV, no? Might be worth checking out, y’all.
Detroit 1-8-7: Why do I get the feeling that most of the folks who’ll actually watch this show only recognize “187” as the title of a Samuel L. Jackson movie or from a line in that Sublime song? “But you like cop shows, Julie! That’s basically the only thing I’ve gleaned from your last two posts!” you’re saying. Well, I do. And thanks for noticing. But this one is supposedly documentary-style, I think, and that particular plot device is losing its appeal for me. This one’s gotta be good – and I mean good – for me to be sold.

Wednesday:
The Middle: Gail Pennington, the only TV critic I actually read, loves this show. At least, I think that’s what I read that one time. I’ve watched The Middle, too, but wasn’t immediately sold. I think I just couldn’t get past the kid named Brick. Or Janitor and Debra Barone being married.
Better with you: Stars include Jennifer Finnigan, who is only familiar to me because she is married to Jonathan Silverman, who I recently IMDB’d because I was convinced he was gay and I wanted to see who his life partner was. Oops. My bad. Oh, you want to know what this one’s about, do you? Your guess is as good as mine. There’s, like, five or six people in it. I guess they all hook up with each other and exchange witty banter. But I’m just spitballing here.
Modern Family: Man, I really resisted this one at first. The damn documentary thing just really turned me off. But then I accidentally watched about ten minutes of it one evening, and proceeded to laugh my tushie off. it really is quite clever – much more so than even the wittiest of ads can relate. I encourage you to check it out (Season 1 now available on DVD, fwiw).
Cougar Town: Oh, girl. Don’t get me started on this one. Like Modern Family and Big Bang Theory, I just completely missed this one until, perhaps because my remote control was broken or the antenna wasn’t picking up CBS, I caved and gave it a go. It’s sweet without being sappy and funny without being stupid. Andy and Ellie are one of my favorite fake couples.
The Whole Truth: Man, I might just have to wade through this lawyer mumbo-jumbo and power through, because I do loves me some Rob Morrow. Maura Tierney’s pretty nifty, too. I think it’s one of those things where they show both sides of a case, maybe? So one’s a prosecutor, one’s a defender? I could be wrong.

Thursday:
My Generation: So this is ANOTHER freakin’ documentary-ish thing that’s following up on a group of graduates from the class of 2000, which happens to be my high school class, which makes me not want to watch the fake people in their fake successful lives doing all kinds of fake things I’ve not even dreamed of yet doing. Uh, but maybe that’s just me.
Grey’s Anatomy: Did I watch the agonizingly long, impossibility-laden season finale? Yes. But did I still end up weeping like a small sick infant (even whilst thinking “seriously? what the fuck?”)? Well, I think that goes without saying. Since they managed to kill off all of my least-favorite characters (except for April, grrr), I’m hopeful for this season (last season was starting to rub me the wrong way). I am, though, starting to get a teensy bit tired of all the mate-swapping and breaking up/getting back together again a gabrillion times.
But I’ll still watch it, along with countless others, while Shonda Rhimes sits among piles of currency in an eleven-story vault, quietly counting her riches.
Private Practice: Fond memories of watching DVR’d episodes with my sister wife Gennie made coming back to the show once I moved away kind of… sad. So it sort of dropped off my radar. I don’t know who’s knocking boots with who anymore, and I don’t even know what happened in the season finale. But as long as Tim Daly’s back, I’ll probably pick it up every once in awhile. Sigh.

Friday:
Secret Millionaire: Huh?
Body of Proof: I think maybe they picked out the show’s title before they figured out what it would be about, or someone originally wrote it as a screenplay but couldn’t sell it to a studio. I don’t know. That’s just what I think about when I hear the show’s title. Aaaaaaand Dana Delany’s back – again! Can’t keep this one down! Even if they should!

Sunday:
Desperate Housewives: Okay, for someone who doesn’t watch this show, I somehow have picked up enough info that I feel like I’ve been watching it. The season finale was apparently (as always) a real nail-biter. Edgy and dark, I can see why Housewives has so many fans.
Brothers and Sisters: THEY FUCKING KILLED OFF ROBERT! What the hell?! And Saul’s next too? Geez-o-Pete! The Walkers can’t catch a break! But that is why we love them and love to watch them, even if Kevin is the most whiny, annoying, miserable character on television today (a title that he recently won from Dexter’s Annoying, But Now Dead, Wife).

That’s all folks! No, just kidding! There’s two more networks to go! Yippee!

Hey, remember when NBC was, like, the complete and total shit? And when I say “shit,” I mean it in that casual, sounds-like-a-mean-spirited-insult-but-is-actually-a-compliment-of-the-highest-caliber kind of way. In recent years, some folks have said this network was on a downslide: the (anti-)climax being the Jay Leno disaster of last year. Truthfully, I don’t think that I’ve watched anything regularly on this network (not counting Jeopardy!) since ER, and I quit watching that after about the twenty-fifth season or so.

But I got myself into this critique-ing mess, and I’ll just have to type my way out of it.

Monday:
Chuck: Part of me wonders if this tradition of will-they-renew-it? / wont-they-renew-it? at the end of the past two seasons isn’t some kind of publicity stunt. Apparently fans “saved” it the first time (I think? I could very well be making that up) with some sort of pleas to NBC. As for myself, I don’t watch it but it seems likeable enough and I bet there was some kind of juicy cliffhanger for this season. And spies are fun to watch, right?
The Event: The hype-o-meter is going crazy with this one, folks. I’ve never been a loyal follower of these sorts of LOST-esque epics that are created to hook you early and keep you guessing all season (even though it’s a clever premise, I think), and I’ll probably not make an exception here. Yes, the mystery-building and secrecy of it all (what IS “the event”?) is kind of an interesting idea, but I have a feeling it won’t live up to this (mostly deliberately created) buzz.
Chase: Man, they’re really banking on these hour-long shows this season! Also, NBC has spent all of its marketing budget on The Event and Undercovers so I’m not actually sure what this one’s schtick is, exactly. I think – and don’t quote me here unless I get royalties – it’s about US Marshals (okay, I cheated and looked it up) and the… wait, this might not be half bad (remember: soft spot for cop shows, even softer spot for cop shows where things blow up).

Tuesday
Parenthood: I don’t know. I like my television to be (mostly) fast and slightly stupid (see above!). This is some kind of smart, bittersweet-ish, hour-long family drama (dramedy?), and the few times I’ve tried to watch it I lost patience. This is a reflection of my (sometimes poor) taste, and not the program itself. Probably worth checking out, if you’re into that kind of thing.
Oh, and that’s it for Tuesday, except for Biggest Loser.

Wednesday:
Undercovers: In case you’ve been living under a rock, this is a JJ Abrams product. And it’s on NBC. And it’s flashy. And sexy. And things go boom. Also, new word: “sexpionage” (sp?). Aw, isn’t that clever? Also-also: features the most awesomely named costars: Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw.
Law & Order: SVU: Despite my distaste for the “lawyer show,”  I usually stick with this program even after the dun-dun takes us into the courtroom. The subject matter, overall, is horrible – sometimes I think it’s remarkable that this is meant to be entertainment, even if it’s “fiction.” But this particular L&O delves more deeply into the actual characters, which is what I prefer, even if it’s been pretty uneven the past few seasons.
Law & Order: Los Angeles: Not to be confused with Law & Order, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit or Law & Order: Criminal Intent, or – hell! – with NCIS: Los Angeles, which is not to be confused with CSI. My brain hurts already. I assume if you liked the good ol original L&O, this might appeal to you, too. Or maybe it won’t. I don’t know. Whatever.

Thursday:
Community: Sillier (in a good way) than I thought it’d be, but not as funny ha-ha as I hoped. It started slow (to critics, at least) but gained steam and well, I guess it’s good enough for another season.
30 Rock: Critics call this one uneven, too, but forget them! As long as there’s Tracy Morgan, I will pee my pants with laughter. It’s zany as ever, and this season promises even more looniness.
The Office: This is apparently Steve Carell’s last season on this show, which makes me hope that, unless something completely unexpectedly awesome happens this year, this is also the show’s last. It just wouldn’t be the Office without Michael Scott, ya know? Or would it?
Outsourced: How can this show not be offensive? It’s based on a movie, apparently, and I bet the movie was probably at least kinda funny. But to take this small, thin premise – American dude goes to Mumbai to manage a call center – and spread it out over an entire television series seems pretty foolish. There’s got to be more to it… right?

Friday:
Outlaw: Oops, looks like this already premiered last week (to incredible buzz, apparently! Or was their plan to just bury this show, too?) But what a novel premise, particularly nowadays: dude quits good job in order to do something for the greater good. Wow! Why didn’t we think of that before?! Good for you, rapidly-aging Jimmy Smits (oh how I miss you, Bobby Simone). Let me just put this Good Guy of the Year trophy next to my award for Excellence in Sarcasm.

Oh, good gravy, how many more networks are there?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtslwxL_Leg&ob=av2e

“New Soul” / Yael Naïm (2007)

At one point, I (claimed that I) really didn’t like David Bowie. My college roommate at the time, Jamie, teased me incessantly about it. I can’t remember why I didn’t like him, because I’m basically enamored by his music now. In retrospect, I think it was some sort of blanket statement I made on zero evidence.

“Oh You Pretty Things” / David Bowie (1971)

Let’s break it down by network, shall we? First, good ol’ CBS, which has been promoting the living daylights out of their fall lineup (I don’t know what soup and The Mentalist have in common, but they’ve somehow roped Campbell’s into the publicity blitz. What?).

Onward!

I’ve written previously about my rabid adoration of CSI: Miami, but that doesn’t change the fact that it jumped the shark, so to speak, probably somewhere around episode 1. It’s campy and over-the-top and flashy and I love it, but I’ve got a feeling that CBS doesn’t completely agree with me. And, barring some sort of stellar writing turnaround this season, I have a feeling the show is nearing the end of its life. First, it’s been moved to Sunday nights where it will be competing against Brothers and Sisters on ABC and, well, that’s it. But it’s still buried: it’ll air at 9:00 (central). The people who are watching CBS on a Sunday night go to bed after 60 Minutes is over at 7:00.

And for the record, screw you, CSI: Miami. I know you’re not losing any major cast members but you act like every single person on the show is dead or nearly dying at the end of the season finale. It’s a dumb trick, and it irritates me.

Speaking of irritating tricks, how ’bout that CSI: NY? I re-watched the finale last night and thought I had it figured out (a gunshot rings out after everything has faded to black – oooh, suspenseful, eh?). I was sure that this was just some aggravating teaser: the gunshot was the sound of the good guy (well, girl) taking the bad guy down. But then I see a nanosecond of a snippet of the premiere and I’m confused, as everyone in that particular cliffhanger of an ending scene seems to be standing around, not bleeding to death. So what the hell? Argh. I lost interest in last season after the first few weeks. I hear Melina Kanakakakanakakananakanaredes is leaving. Oh, okay. And Sela Ward’s taking her place. That’s nice. Whatever.

Ambivalence is bliss, as no one says.

Enough of the CSIs. Here’s my recap:
Mondays:
How I Met Your Mother: This is funnier than you think it is, and it’s still entertaining if you don’t follow it regularly. Oh, that Jason Segal! And that NPH! What clowns those two are.
Rules of Engagement: I don’t know. It’s… on?
Two and a Half Men: I only watch this in reruns when I’m waiting for something better to come on. It’s tolerable. Funnier than I thought, but not great enough to follow. I think maybe Charlie was going to get married? Or something? And he didn’t? Eh.
Mike & Molly: This one’s new and it could either be good or a horrible string of cliches and fat jokes. I hope they don’t rely on that particular premise to carry it through the season. Talk about horrible.
Hawaii Five-0: Was aghast when this was originally announced. I immediately bemoaned the lack of creativity in television writing – really? Just recycle an old show and make it flashier? Uh, I’ve since changed my mind. It’s actually the one new show to which I’m looking forward. And I figure if all else fails, I can put it on mute and just watch Alex O’Loughlin, Scott Caan and Daniel Dae Kim be bad-ass. Mmmm.

Tuesdays:
NCIS: I like this show, but I’m lost on the whole Gibbs’-shady-past-coming-back-to-haunt-him biznass. I started working Tuesday nights and kept missing it, so I have no clue what’s going on. But I guess it’s suspenseful. I think someone’s gonna hurt Gibbs’ daddy. That’d be sad. Don’t kill John Walton!!
NCIS: Los Angeles: Flasier than the original, but in a nice, entertaining way that is pleasing to me. Again with the bad-assery: LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell are another pair I could watch on mute.
The Good Wife: I have it on good authority that this is a good show worth your time. But I’ve never watched it and have only a superficial understanding of its plot. I guess Julianna Margulies is pretty bad ass herself here.

Wednesday:
Survivor: Oh, is this still on?
Criminal Minds: Losing its luster. I liked it at first but parts of it are kind of grating. I think they’re getting rid of JJ (AJ Cook). Dang. I liked her. Also, I didn’t really watch it this season so I have no idea what sort of unbelievable cliffhanger, edge-of-your-seat-ness they ended with. I can only assume it was incredibly horrible. The people who write these shows are some twisted fucks.
The Defenders: Here’s a little non-secret: I don’t actually like law shows. Never been my cup of tea. I’ll watch Law and Order until they get to the courtroom part. Then I turn it off. But this show is, I think, about more than just blah-blah-blah-Objection!-Overruled!-blah-blah-blah and more about the glitzy coke-and-hos set. It’ll take more than hookers and blow to make it on my must-watch list.

Thursday:
The Big Bang Theory: Intelligent and uproarious. Like, I seriously gush over this program. The writing and acting is just sublime. Don’t worry about catching up, just watch it. Watch it and be amazed. Watch it and wonder what the fuck took you so long to do so (I did).
S#*! My Dad Says: Really, people? I hear it’s downright horrible, which makes sense because THEY MADE AN ENTIRE FUCKING TV SHOW ABOUT SOMEONE’S FUCKING TWITTER ACCOUNT? Really? I tweet some pretty random shit from time-to-time. Where the fuck’s my show? (And for the record, this Justin dude must be too busy making 80 zillion dollars off of his old man’s brain to actually tweet anything. I follow him and he only posts something like once a month, if that. What a rough life, dude).
CSI: I quit following the original years ago, when I finally realized that they couldn’t afford to properly compensate any lighting guys and had to rely on the actors flashlights to illuminate each scene. I’m sorry, I like to see what I’m watching. 
The Mentalist: The premise is pretty dumb, and it’s completely unrealistic that they’d let this schmuck fuck around with their police work for so long. But this Red John story is compelling. So I’ll stick it out for awhile longer. I mean, if I must watch Simon Baker (and Tim Kang!)  I guess I’ll do it. Wait, where’s the mute button?

Friday:
Medium: I thought this show was over? I’m so confused. Didn’t Allison die? Or does this mean she’s going to be in her pajamas all season? Lovely.
CSI: NY: See above
Blue Bloods: Another non-secret: I like cop shows. But this one doesn’t have me hooked just yet. If I do end up following it, it might not be until next year, if it makes it that long. We’ll see. Tom Selleck as a cop, though? But of course.

Holy shit, man! Are you still reading this?

I think that I have a problem. I don’t think that I watch that much television, but I’m beginning to think I might be incorrect in my assumptions. Maybe it’s because I watch most of my television programs on the internet days or weeks after they were aired originally. I’ll go days and days without even turning on a TV and then I get some down time and bam! Hulu ’til my eyes bleed (exaggeration, people).

Anyway.

The Fall premiere season sort of snuck up on me this year. Even though I’ve been reading about this season’s premieres for what feels like sixteen years now, I’m slowly realizing that these highly-anticipated episodes are actually happening, like, next week. I’d thought about doing a Fall TV post until I realized the sheer gargantuan-ness of the task (at least how I’d envisioned it in my mind) was too much for me to bear in one sitting (remember, my eyes are still bleeding from all the Hulu).

That said, for the next few days-ish I’ll be playing TV Critic and doing my best to inundate my five loyal readers with more time-wasting on the internets. You’re welcome, reader(s). Any time.

So Oprah Freaking Winfrey (that’s her full name, if you were not already aware) does her “my favorite things” episode once a season-or-so. She assembles a bag for each member of her studio audience that includes her Favorite Things and people go positively ape-shit crazy when they realize what’s going on.

And when I say “assembles a bag” I mean she, like, gives every person in the audience a house or something. I don’t know. It’s pretty ridiculous, because Oprah Freaking Winfrey’s Favorite Things are not the kind of things that can be carried in a sack.

This morning, as I dressed myself for my busy day of going to the bank and playing Scrabble Slam with my mom, I came across a couple of my Favorite Things (all manageable in your standard satchel), and this is the subject of today’s post:

Julie’s Favorite Things.

Band-Aid Blister Block
I was never a collector of shoes until I became aware of the existence of flats. Like, seriously? They make cute shoes for gals like me with giant-ass feet who just can’t handle the high heels? I am smitten, and I have a growing collection to prove it (no shame in my game). But oh, the rubbing on my tender Achilles tendon! What a tragedy, until someone (my Mom, I think? Good ole Mom!) introduced me to this product. It’s essentially lubricant for wherever you need it, so that the shoe (or what-have-you) doesn’t rub. I use it on my aforementioned tendon area and BOOYAH! No rubby, bloody mess! Freakin’ A: BUY SOME. It comes in a stick, not unlike glue (but the opposite, really), and one stick lasts for-freaking-ever. (Note: as I’ve said before, I don’t wear heels much, but I assume this product would be just perfect for those, too).

Downy Wrinkle Releaser
When I first began my current job, I dutifully unfurled mine ironing board each morning before my shift and I methodically removed all traces of wrinkles from mine pants. *annoying buzzer noise* WRONG! Talk about a waste of time! After about six months (oy vey!), I realized that I was already a slave to the Wrinkle Releaser for my everyday clothing; why the hell wouldn’t I use it on my “good” clothes? Answer: ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD REASON AT ALL. Just take what you need “ironed” and spray liberally. Smooth it out with your hands, possibly hang it on a hanger to dry if you have time, and voila! Good-as-freaking-new.

Febreze
This is also a treasure that I truly discovered with my current job. I’d used it before, mostly on bed linens that I didn’t feel like laundering or couches that wouldn’t fit in my washing machine. But when I’d come home from a short-ish shift smelling of my place of work, but knowing that my pants weren’t actually dirty, I knew that my solution was in this beautiful blue bottle. A few once-overs with the spray and good as new! A note of precaution, however: if you’re kind of mental about odors like myself, you will find yourself using it on everything. Like… everything. Just sayin’.

Netflix
Without Netflix, I would have never had the opportunity to view the first few episodes of the Australian programme The Strip (Did I watch the rest? Well… no. But I started it). Ahem. Anyway – it’s a beautiful -and did I mention cheap?– way to view movies and television shows at home: via DVD or on your computer or through some magical connection on your Box-Xes or Wees – of which I’ve not the capability.  If you don’t have the cash monies to shell out for cable television, and you’re exceptionally patient, it’s a good way to see all those freakin’ good shows on HBO and Showtime (granted, you’ll have to wait until the season is finished while avoiding any and all spoilers). Also, in case you haven’t noticed, I prefer to use it for TV viewing but I hear they have movies, too.

I’ll leave it at this for now, and continue later. Enjoy.

Too catchy! I love it! The piano! The percussion! Perfection!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehu3wy4WkHs&ob=av2e

“Say Hey (I Love You)” / Michael Franti ft. Spearhead (2010)