Wednesday Conversations both real (see below) and imagined.
Ma: Did you hear Checketts is selling the Blues?
Julie: Oh, yeah?
Ma: Yeah. He was going to get a new group, because the first group wants to sell, but he didn’t. But he couldn’t get a new group together so he’s just going to sell.
*pause of approximately five seconds*
Ma: So Doug is in St. Croix with what’s-her-name…
J: Doug? Doug Armstrong?
Ma: Armstrong?
J: The Blues’ GM?
Ma: Blues?
J: You were talking about Dave Checketts, and –
Ma: Carrie! That’s her name. Doug and Carrie are in St. Croix and –
J: WAIT YOU’RE TELLING ME ABOUT AN EPISODE OF KING OF QUEENS?
Ma: Yeah I was watching it, and –
J: What the hell? How did you get to there from Checketts selling the Blues?
Ma: I’m trying to tell you a story!
* * *
Ma: They have three million dollars for Japan!
J: Who does? What?
Ma: They have three million dollars.
J: WHO IS ‘THEY’?
Ma: The Red Cross! They’ve gotten three million dollars for Japan.
J: LACK OF CONTEXT CLUES.
Ma: *groaning noise* NEVER MIND.
* * *
Ma: Did you see that one dog that won’t leave the other dog?
Julie: What? Huh?
Ma: In Japan! The one dog won’t leave the sick dog. The rescue people are trying to get him to go because the one dog isn’t doing so well.
J: What? Huh? Where? Japan?
Ma: In one of these areas – there’s a dog.
J: Yes…
Ma: And it won’t leave the other dog.
J: Okay…
Ma: Never mind. I don’t know why I bother telling you stories.
J: THAT WAS NOT A STORY! IT WAS A STRING OF WORDS IN VAGUE SENTENCE-LIKE GROUPINGS!
Ma: Arrrrgh!
J: ARRRRRRGH!
the sloppy copy 