the sloppy copy

Wednesday Conversations both real (see below) and imagined.

Ma: Did you hear Checketts is selling the Blues?

Julie: Oh, yeah?

Ma: Yeah. He was going to get a new group, because the first group wants to sell, but he didn’t. But he couldn’t get a new group together so he’s just going to sell.

*pause of approximately five seconds*

Ma: So Doug is in St. Croix with what’s-her-name…

J: Doug? Doug Armstrong?

Ma: Armstrong?

J: The Blues’ GM?

Ma: Blues?

J: You were talking about Dave Checketts, and –

Ma: Carrie! That’s her name. Doug and Carrie are in St. Croix and –

J: WAIT YOU’RE TELLING ME ABOUT AN EPISODE OF KING OF QUEENS?

Ma: Yeah I was watching it, and –

J: What the hell? How did you get to there from Checketts selling the Blues?

Ma: I’m trying to tell you a story!

*                    *                    *

Ma: They have three million dollars for Japan!

J: Who does? What?

Ma: They have three million dollars.

J: WHO IS ‘THEY’?

Ma: The Red Cross! They’ve gotten three million dollars for Japan.

J: LACK OF CONTEXT CLUES.

Ma: *groaning noise* NEVER MIND.

*                    *                    *

Ma: Did you see that one dog that won’t leave the other dog?

Julie: What? Huh?

Ma: In Japan! The one dog won’t leave the sick dog. The rescue people are trying to get him to go because the one dog isn’t doing so well.

J: What? Huh? Where?  Japan?

Ma: In one of these areas – there’s a dog.

J: Yes…

Ma: And it won’t leave the other dog.

J: Okay…

Ma: Never mind. I don’t know why I bother telling you stories.

J: THAT WAS NOT A STORY! IT WAS A STRING OF WORDS IN VAGUE SENTENCE-LIKE GROUPINGS!

Ma: Arrrrgh!

J: ARRRRRRGH!