the sloppy copy

Better performed live, even if I was nearly trampled to death.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0mx5ERj1eI

“Sheep Go To Heaven” / Cake (1998)

Also: “I just want to play on my panpipes, I just want to drink me some wine…”

This song has been stuck in my head for two days.

“Paper Bag” / Fiona Apple (1999)

Man, my dad is going to be the cutest grandpa ever. Seeing him interact with little kids is one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever seen.

I hope my brother’s girlfriend is ready to start popping out kids, because I’m sure as hell not.

Sounds like a good day to me too, Mr. Cube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q

“It Was a Good Day” / Ice Cube (1992)

Today I came across this ad for an “admissions representative” for a local branch of one of those online 2-year schools. Don’t worry about clicking it. I’ll summarize it for you:

Responsibilities include recruiting students (duh), guiding them through the enrollment process (double duh), helping them with forms (triple duh), et cetera et cetera et cetera.

Okay, I’m thinking. I can handle that.

So I read further, to the “qualifications” section:
“Effective time management skills”
Check. Or at least I can fake it for the sake of a paycheck.
“Ability to perform without extensive direct supervision”
Check. Actually, “extensive direct supervision” drives me crazy.
“Willingness to work some nights and weekends”
Check. I’ve never had a job that didn’t require that. Good so far.
“Experience in admissions, weight loss services or dating services a plus”
Che– wait…

what the fuck?

Oh, come on. Everybody’s doing it, why the heck can’t I?
This year, I decided to mix it up a little. Because I am rarely correct with my predictions, I decided to more blindly guess my way through the nominee list.

Best Picture: The Blind Side
Sandra Bullock looked ridiculous with that hair. And the premise of the movie sounded stupid, even if it is based on a true story. Anyway, who doesn’t love a story about patronizing white people saving some poor schmoe of another racial background?

Best Actor: Morgan Freeman, Invictus
He’s old. And he played an old man. A famous old man. This one’s a no-brainer.

Best Supporting Actor: Matt Damon, Invictus
I think he had an accent in this movie. And played… soccer? Both demonstrate flexibility and the depth of his, uh, acting ability, and uh…

Best Actress, Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Is this movie even out in theatres yet? Is this the one about the gay guy? Or the one about Tolstoy? Or is that the same movie? I don’t know. She seems like a nice lady. Give it to her.

Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Nine
Did she do her own singing? I think her costume involved tassels. And everyone knows that Singing + Tassels = Oscar.

And because these are the only awards that anyone* cares about, I’ll stop there.

*With the notable exception of Paul N.J. Ottosson, nominee for Best Sound Mixing for The Hurt Locker. And yes, I randomly chose him because of his suh-sweeeeeet name.

The song itself is okay. I couldn’t find a good video; this one is not my fave. But for some reason I really dig the storytelling in his words. The picture in my head is so vivid that it builds a story around itself. I don’t know. That sounded really… stupid.

“Bags of Bones” / Owen (2006)
The lyrics:
We bonded over broken bones.
Whose broke skin.
Whose fractured in two places.
Whose hurt the most.

We bonded over broken bones.
How many vicodin we took before bed.
How many we sold to the band sleeping on our floor,
week one of a two week tour.
My god knows they’ll need it more than I.

You and me and an x-ray machine.
I swear that day you saw straight through me.

We’re two bags of bones,
broken and talking of people we both know in common
amongst other things that I shouldn’t mention.

You and me.
A hospital love scene.
If only these broken bodies were ours forever…

Things I Say Now But Might Take Back Once I [Hopefully] Find A Full-Time Job:
A slightly-longer list than last time’s

1. I miss getting up early with a sense of purpose for the day.
2. I miss working five days a week, with specified start- and end-times.
3. I miss the feeling of accomplishment after a full day’s worth of work.
4. I miss regularly interacting with people to whom I am not related.
5. I miss after-work socializing with coworkers, with whom I could bitch about our shared experiences.

A bit long, but still lovely.

“Notes” / The Dodos (2006)

Things On Which I Have Been Previously Complimented But Can’t Quite Work Into My Current Resume:
a short list

1. My ability to unfurl a blanket upon a bed whilst in the process of making it.
2. My toothpaste-spitting technique*
3. Showing up to offer assistance in completing a chore at the precise moment the task is finished (compliment was sarcastic; this skill is also unintentional though no one believes me)

*was once told by my then-5-year old brother that I “spit like Andy Moog“